Too many leaders and parents are killing butterflies.
It is the struggle, the effort, and the process where skills are learned, confidence is earned, and experience is gained.
If you “help” a butterfly emerge from its own chrysalis, you are actually killing the beautiful butterfly.
Strength Development: The struggle helps pump fluid from the butterfly’s body into its wings, which strengthens the wings and prepares them for flight. Without this effort, the wings remain underdeveloped or weak.
Natural Process: The act of emerging is an essential part of its transition from pupa to butterfly. Interfering with this process can leave the butterfly unable to fly, essentially dooming it.
If we try to “help” too much, we hinder long-term success.
The challenges and struggles are necessary for strength and independence to develop.
An earned life embraces the chosen struggles.
As a father of two young girls, there is nothing I want to do more than to keep them from injury, to help them live a life of comfort, and to enable their passions. It is an almost primal desire to want to help them avoid pain.
And yet life requires resilience.
My responsibility is to ensure they can lead and thrive in an uncertain world without me. My job is to pass the baton. Create an environment for them to see the world as it is and choose their own struggles.
In that Emily Dugas and I create a home full of love and respect. Guided by our family mission and values, we engage with the world.
The same is true of the organizations we work with.
Our job is to facilitate clarity and bring compassion.
Clarity on where we’re headed. Clarity on the metrics that matter. Clarity on the barriers we’re currently facing – externally and internally.
And then compassion. Meet the organization where they are with the skills they have. Articulate the strategy, execute the improvements, and build the team to lead and execute in a better way.
We can speed the journey up. But we can’t do the heavy lifting. That must be done with the team as we build the new way.
Otherwise it all falls apart when we leave. Like it does with so many who distill advice.
We’re in it to build together.
We’re willing to go through the process of that build together. And emerge as a stronger butterfly ready to navigate the next set of challenges.
