Proximity is not a relationship strategy.
Danny Perron lives five hours away. We’ve done years of meaningful work together. Deep respect. The kind of person whose trajectory I genuinely care about. But we don’t talk constantly. Distance and busy lives mean the touchpoints are fewer.
This morning, while I was reviewing the email from my AI Key Relationship Agent, an important announcement surfaced: He’s running for local office in Saint Quentin. It’s a Brave decision. A Community-minded move. I admire when smart and driven leaders throw their hat in the ring to make their region better. It’s a moment worth Celebrating.
The most human thing I did today was let a machine remind me to show up for a friend.
John Gottman’s research on relationships found that the ones that thrive run at a 5:1 ratio. Five positive interactions for every one crunchy conversation. It’s not about grand gestures. It’s about consistent, small deposits of attention. The text says I noticed. The message that says I care.
Robin Dunbar’s research tells us we can only maintain about 150 meaningful relationships. What gets missed by most is that 40% of time is spent with 5 people. And another 20% is spent with another ring of about 25 people. That means the rest of your network gets less than 90 seconds a month. Not because we don’t care but because we don’t have time.
Without a system, those moments disappear into the feed.
Without a system, you can’t connect in a way that allows you to connect your intent to action and impact.
Most leave their relationships to proximity, happenstance, and the luck of the algorithm.
Wayne Crawley taught me that wasn’t enough.
So we built an AI enabled Key Relationship workflow.
Every Thursday, my AI Key Relationship agent sends me a curated email — a scan of my network flagged through Jesse Itzler’s three C’s: Congratulate, Console, Celebrate.
Two minutes. One authentic text. One more deposit into a relationship that matters.
Dunbar’s Number tells us we can only hold about 150 meaningful relationships. Gottman tells us each one needs consistent positive attention to survive. The agent makes both possible — catching the moments I’d otherwise miss, with the people I want to invest in.
Using AI for relationships sounds cold. It is actually the opposite.
Most people hear “AI relationship agent” and think that’s dystopian. I’d argue that leaving your most important relationships to an algorithm you didn’t build is far worse.
Do I catch them all? No. Do I catch more than I used to without the Agent? Definitely yes.
Danny deserved better than a missed post. Now he gets it.
